omfgkthxpie

Let's make this happen!

It's a beautiful thing how resilient the human spirit can be. it always turns out that i've been storing up happiness to spread evenly (like a jelly) over the cold, hard toast of sadness. i will not let you through, toast. i'm just skating along on my jelly so fast i forget there's even anything underneath it. i hit seeds occasionally (i do prefer preserves), but the rest of it is jelly. preserves. jam. good.

It's hard to breathe, not just because of fires. i'm lonely but not for people. i don't know what i mean really. it's just that feeling where abstract panic is in the back of your head and you don't know why. it's the same as when something is wrong and you're trying not to remember but you know it's something. and then you remember it. well this is like that. except since i don't know what it is i can't remember it.

Due to tomorrows Blogathon, (with the exception of a few people who wish to view all the crrrrrrazyiness.) everyone will be removed throughout the duration of the 'thon; as I will be posting every hour, on the hour, for 24 hours. This will last from Saturday @ 8am cst until Sunday @ 8am cst. So tune in tomorrow to watch it all go down!

And while you're at it, feel free to check out the other blogs to see what everyone else is doing. See you tomorrow morning!



Special thanks to fuzzface00 for his "Quick and Dirty Mission Clock". ;)

Have a great weekend!

In lieu of that lawsuit against TCAP and because they won't shut up about it here in Dallas:



So the convo went:
mrskulash - please don't tell me i'm the only one who wants to bang chris hansen silly
ardenrose - Ooh you're not. I love it when he reads the transcripts. I dim the lights and put on some Sade.
Me - ...

W/e, I can't wait for tonights episode!


On a less interesting note:


I'm seriously addicted to Blueberry White Iced Tea from Starbucks, I've probably bought one almost everyday for the past week. Good shit.

Yah!

Blegh, the weather in Dallas can be total shit at times. It's like everytime I want to go out, it starts pouring like crazy. For the past two weeks, anyway. But today was an exception, because I actually enjoyed the rain and spent a while running around in it. And I did some thinking in the process...

It seems like whenever I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere in life, I end up having more problems and troubles than I care to deal with. But that's just life, I guess. I'd like to believe that it will get better, as people tell me. It's just that sometimes, I feel like telling them that they can take all of their optimistic crap and just shove it.

I feel like I waste too much time looking back on things that I can’t change and worrying about a future that I have no control over. And more than anything, I wish that I could just let go and embrace what I have now and see where it takes me. If only I could give it a chance without letting my fears and doubts get the best of me. Alas, I feel like I'm stuck the way that I am for now. I'm in a place where I stay up until 3am thinking about everything that's wrong in my life, feeling so overwhelmed by it and wishing that I could just escape from that part in my mind. And if it weren't for this one certain person that keeps me company during those times, I probably wouldn't be able to keep up my composure as well as I do.

I think because of that, I can't seem to listen to peoples methods on how to fix things and follow through; just as I can't allow those who want to help "in" either. "Change doesn’t happen until you want it badly enough" - That's what a friend told me today and I would have to agree with him. I need a reason that would make me want to take a leap of faith, only I'm not sure if I've found it yet. Or maybe I'm just too stupid and blind to see how good I have it now, because I'm so busy concentrating on the negative aspects of my life.

Blah blah, crap.
Nonetheless, it kills my brain everytime that I think about this stuff. I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to be happy in spite of things going my way or not. I can make it happen if I really wanted. So that's that.



Taken at a Kwik-E-Mart in Dallas (A few miles from my house, to be exact, which was uber spiffy). It was pretty trippy because the entire 7-11 had been painted and junk to replicate the aforementioned. Anyway, I totes picked up some pink sprinkled donuts, a squishee, buzz cola and KrustyO’s Cereal.

Yep.

Seriously.

I think I've finally reached a place where I realized that everything is going to be okay — No matter what kind of shit comes my way. It's just the matter of enduring it and believing that I will pull through. And I'd like to think that in the long run, it'll only make me stronger. Some things come easier for some people, whilst others not so much. But imho, it's the really tough crap that you go through, that defines who you are. After all of your struggles, if you can get through this, you can get through anything. And despite how bad things may be, maybe there's something to be learned. So just ride it through.

That's what I tell myself, anyway. I've always known this, but I truly believe it now.

Also, as much as I envy the people around me because they seem so happy with where they stand in life. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm finally 21 yrs old and eager to see where life will take me. I just hope it's some place good. I'm ready to do this. On my own.

Blah blah, anyway -
OT: Guesssssss what's coming up!



Haha, that left me pretty screwed up last year. But it was worth it.
This year should be interesting.

And now it's time for bball.

Let's do this bitch Tarantino style-

So my mom met this dude that looks like Mark Ruffalo (She's always had a crush on that dude). He seemed decent at first and treated her with respect and junk. Thus, the natural ensued - They date for a while and all is rainbows and sunshine, oh yippy!

Cue to events that took place last night:
Mama comes around acting all emo and shit; crying to my brother and later I. We try to console her and tell her that she deserves better, blah blah, get my drift.

What happened:
Boyfriend proposes, she says yes, later goes back to his house and spots his ex-girlfriends car parked in his whatchamacallit. Walks up to his door and hears him and his ex doing teh dirrrrty.

See, I told her that he was sleaze. You THINK she would've figured that out the FIRST time he cheated on her. But did she listen? Heeeell no! Even worse, I stayed up until 2am trying to get her to eat, laugh and all that jazz. Which she does do. Then this afternoon, she told me she had called up my sister earlier today and feels better thanks to her... WTF? I brought this up and she was like "Oh yeah, you, your brother and Adrian helped me also", in a sarcastic manner. Oh no she din't!

Heh, bag of chips and a slurpee says she's going to go running back to that douche nozzle. I told her that if she does and ends up getting her heart broken again, I'm sure as hell not going to be there for her.

But knowing my stupid ass, I probably will. I can't stand to see my mom sad and junk. Dang, I suck.

/emo rant

Don't you hate when you find yourself wanting to say something to someone, yet you can't. Because you know it wouldn't be right, given certain circumstances. So you remain silent, force a fake smile, despite the stinging pain you feel due to the tears forming at the corner of your eyes. And simply walk away. And you say to yourself "That's that".

"And that's that"... "And that's that".

So last night I kept thinking about this to the point where I couldn't sleep. When I finally did manage to catch some z's, I dreamt that I had the Ebola virus. Alrighty then...

Anyway, my big dorky brother turns 30 tomorrow. Dang, he's a fossil!
I reminisced over our past today. Like this one time that he was left in charge to babysit me. It was thanksgiving and we pigged out on leftovers. In fact, I had pigged out so much on pickles, that I ended up barfing 20 different colors the next morning. Fun times!

Or like this other time when he took me to the mall along with his buddies. He let me run around the Disney store and buy these spiffy Beauty and the Beast toy figures. They're probably about 12 years old, but I still love and have them to this very day.

Can't forget about the mornings we spent eating cocoa or fruity pebbles and watched Gomer Pyle. Or nights scarfing down 7-11 nachos and watched In Living Color or wrestling.

Gah, we grew up too quickly.

You may be an annoying and controlling jerk at times, but I still love you.
Happy 30th Birthday, Benny.

Dooood, it's too earrrrly. Damn, I hate Tx weather. It's like snowing one week, boiling hot the next, followed by rainy with tornadoes and shit. Rinse and repeat. Make up yer damn mind, mother nature dood.
And ants, I HATE ants!

Blegh, I need sleep. I need... A Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino with a friggin blueberry muffin. Weak.

My cat is snoring, little turd burger. First he pounces on my chest and meows really loudly until I wake up. Then he nearly knocks me right back the fudge out with his dragon breath. Yes, I said fudge.

I had Magical Mystery Tour stuck in my head all night. Lawl.

I hate windows. I hate having to reformat, I hate running out of ice cream. I hate stupid people. I hate those cadbury eggs with the creme filling inside. I hate um... Other stuff.

I've been sipping on too much haterade today, dang.

Anyway, I woke up around 2am to get something to drink, and noticed that windows update had finished downloading and junk. Lalalala, I proceeded to install the updates. Reboot, pls. Then bam! BSOD after BSOD after BSOD! Compy had worked fine before I had installed those retched updates. Damn. Whatevs, I fixed it. Didn't lose much, since I don't really download anything. I hate clutter.

Oh yeah-

MAVS GAME TONIGHT!!

Okay, so I get that I'm 20 yrs old and should be mature about this. But ewwww, I hate it when my mom talks about having "fun" her "boyfriend". I mean, can't I just sit here and eat my damn ice cream in peace, without having to hear about that vomit inducing crap most of the dang time.

On a heavier note:
I weighed myself earlier and came up to be around 135lbs. I feel like a damn whale. :( I hate being so damn short.

And s.o.b, I hate cramps.



Lawl. Petsmart awaits, cats need a new potty and some kitty weed. Dang.

P.S. I'm totally addicted to this site.

Okay, not really.

Any minute now

Lolololol, we're breaking lj again. I'm going to cry if the results aren't released today... OMGGGGGGG!



'kay, not really, but dang son, it'll suck.
And thus, the suspense commences.

Edit: Larry's the daddy, omg. I wish Maury would've read the results, lawl.
And Nancy Grace is finna cry, ahahahaha.

You know, as much time as i spend on the internet, i keep forgetting that most people just use it as a means to get as much attention as humanly possible. i should leave a post-it on my desk or something to remind myself, so i don't have to waste my time being dumbfounded by the pure narcissism that exists in the world. - tinysaurus_rex

A-freaking-men.

This was induced by that  Brannagate shit , which also happens to be funny as hell. I loves me some ONTD drama!

I got up early this morning and forgot what for.

I wanted to clean up my apt, but realized that would be too much work, so I decided to sit on the sofa and watch tv, but that seemed like alot of work too, so I stayed in bed.

I think I have a cold.

I scarfed down 3 cookies and some oj. It was good.

I despise people who spell definitely "definately" and ridiculous "rediculous". Burn them all!

I think I ate too much candy today, I feel sick...

I'm now thirsty.

Life is boring, yeah. And I'm really digging apple juice atm.



He's too sexy for his fur. :O